Home > Humor Library > Redneck Charge of the GoddessSearch

Redneck Charge of the Goddess

(Tune: The Beverly Hillbillies by E. Scruggs)
(Lyrical adaption by Hare)

Now listen to the words of the Great Star Mother,
In days long past called by one name or tuther,
"I am your Mammy, Queen of Earth, Air, Fire, Sea,
So you better quit your yappin' an' listen to me."

(Isis that is, Astarte, Cerridwen)

"Now y'all listen up, 'cause I'd hate to be a bitch,
When we have our shindigs t'aint none should wear a stitch.
Y'all will eat an' drink an' dance an' love, to show that you're free,
'Cause all acts of pleasure are sacred to me."

(Skyclad that is, Great Rite, Cakes an' Wine)

"If you wanna know my secrets, then look in your own hide,
'Cause if what you seek aint there, well, it won't be found outside.
The greatest Mysteries t'aint really dread nor dire,
I'm with you at the start, and at the end of desire."

(That's right, listen to your heart. Y'all will come back now, y'hear?)

Important: If this page annoys and upsets you, please carefully read this page before complaining to the webmaster.

Annual Server Donation Drive

It's time for our annual Server Donation Drive!

We need your help to raise over $800 to keep The Cauldron's server online for another year. Please help keep this site online. Either hit the Paypal button below and make a one-time donation in any amount or set up a monthly >Bronze, Silver or Gold Donor subscription. Please Donate Now to keep The Cauldron online another Year!

donate directly via Paypal

[More Info]

Pagan Custom Web Search

Enter Search Term:

The sites included in this Google custom search have been selected by members of The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum to help you find higher quality Pagan and religious information on the web.

Pagan-Friendly Webhosting

Dreamhost offers high-quality, low cost web hosting with a dedication to free speech.

Dreamhost Features · unlimited web space
· 50 gigs personal file space
· unlimited bandwidth
· unlimited email boxes (POP3/IMAP)
· unlimited ftp/shell accounts
· unlimited domains/subdomains
· php5, cgi, python, fastcgi, ssi
· zend optimizer, ruby on rails
· unlimited MySQL 5 databases
· announcement lists
· discussion (aka mailing) lists
· Jabber server, Custom DNS
· Crontab and Shell access
· Web-based Control Panel
· One-Click installs of the Wordpress blog & others
· 1 free domain name
· helpful tech support
· 100% Uptime Guarantee
· and much more!

All for $10.95 a month with a $49.95 setup fee (pay for a year in advance for $9.95 a month and there is no setup fee). Pay two years in advance and the price drops to $8.95 a month. (And there is a 97 day money back guarantee!)